I really hope one of two things brought you here:
1. I shamelessly sent you a link and you were like this girl again, lemme sha read.
2. You saw the title and you were curious!!
So, I’m working on making my titles attractive and how well do you think I did with this?
Ok, let’s go to the Menu.
On Self Love.
So Thanos loved Gamora but he sacrificed her still. Because although he loved her or thinks he loved her, there’s something he loved more. Power. Feeling like a saviour with the insane idea that sacrificing Gamora is for the greater good of the world. And ruining half of the World is his idea of an act of love for the World. That’s some toxic kind of love for the World.
In Gone Girl, Amy for love’s sake faked her death and framed her husband, Nick, for it.
Acrimony: Melinda for love’s sake condoned Robert’s silly ass behaviour. See what happened? She reached the brink and became the MAD woman.
The point is love is beautiful, love can be toxic too. Including self-love. That’s why we need to practice self-love correctly.
If you are aggressive, stingy, bitter, self-centered, rude, cruel and you justify it by saying, I accept myself, I love myself. You are very vewi wrong.
Self-love is when you are able to identify these behavioural flaws and then work on it. So let’s say you are a selfish person, and you love yourself enough to say, I’m letting go of this shitty behaviour in my beautiful life. There, that’s self-love.
I think self-love should be done like real love; platonic love, romantic love, parental love. etc.
And you should be the lovee and the lover. Be the one giving and receiving the love. Imagine yourself as a girlfriend, now what do you want in your partner? A partner that inspires you? That advises you? That tells you when you’ve done something wrong?
That praises you when you’ve done something awesome? That buys you gifts? That reminds you of the love they have for you? Now, be that partner to yourself.
2- Nontoxic Acts of Self-Love You Should Practice
1. Take care of your heart.
I think this is the most important and less talked about act of self-love and Ibn Taymiyyah thought so too.
While I was reading Ibn Taymiyyah’s book, “The diseases of the heart.” I learned the heart is the most integral part of the body, not just for blood circulation, durrrh.
When it’s healthy, the other parts are healthy. When it’s not, the other parts are not.
Diseases of the hearts include jealousy, envy, greed, bitterness, negativity, lust, e.t.c/ They should have no place in our hearts. Also in the book, Ibn Taymiyyah talked about ways to take care of the heart.
- Being just to Allah: (He’s an Islamic scholar and he wrote from the Islamic point of view but you get the point)
- Being just to yourself.: Be kind to yourself, do what is best for you, don’t lie to yourself, don’t tear yourself apart, work on that idea, eat good food, avoid things that harm your mental health e.t.c
- Being just to other people: There’s a saying by the Prophet (SAW), “You have not truly believed until you want for others what you want for yourself.”
So be just to others, don’t scream at your mom over something silly, don’t body shame people, tell people you love their works, compliment people, correct people, advice people, help people.
2. Take Care of your Mind.
On a conversation I had with Tawakalit, we talked about how hard it is to unlearn unhealthy habits, mentality, traditions that we’ve always thought normal. And the key to unlearning is first identifying that there’s a problem with how we see things.
Simi, in her #FvckYouChallenge said a line “Se O ro bi mo kola ni?”.
It’s a common line amongst the Yorubas that means, “I don’t have tribal marks, hence I’m not stupid.” Some people called Simi out and she made an apology. It made me happy.
Some think Simi’s apology is uncalled for, she isn’t the first to speak the line, is she? It’s a line that goes way back, so why apologise?
But because it has gone way back doesn’t mean it’s normal, it doesn’t mean it hurts not the people are the receiving end.
That’s how to take care of our mind, by feeding it with healthy knowledge. By getting rid of the unhealthy ideas we have internalized. Because in the end, the state of our mind will greatly influence how we treat ourselves and others.
Perhaps, you have been told being short is substandard, you start having a problem with your height.
Perhaps you have made your mind believe that Yorubas are rude. You wouldn’t even want to say hi to a Yoruba next to you.
Perhaps you believe house helps, gardeners, gatemen or people of the lower class on the economy whatever are lesser people. You start having no problem talking down on them, you start feeling like you are better than them. It’s unhealthy.
Take care of your mind, train it to differentiate between healthy and unhealthy, right and wrong, prejudice and truth. It’s an Act of Self-Love.
Hi, I hope you enjoyed this post. Now I want to hear your opinions. Do you think Thanos truly loved Gamora? And if you were him, would you take a different step from what he had taken?
Hi, I’m Azeeza.
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