Life Hacks.

A Meeting With The village people. ‘Hold Your Hands.’ They Said.

Reading Time: 4 minutes

Having been really concerned about the way Nigerians complain about their village people, I was forced to schedule a meeting with them. Meanwhile, I’m glad to tell you, the meetings will hold at least once a month and be sure that The Zyzah will document the minutes. โ˜บ

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You need to know the Village people are not like we’ve imagined them. Like we see them in our heads.
1.  First, they aren’t ugly. They almost made me feel insecure with their shiny faces and pretty smiles


2.  They wear pretty clothes and they don’t live on trees or in mud houses.


3. They don’t really care about you but they feel quite important that you keep talking about them.  They claim they are not responsible for your misfortune but they feel important that you blame them for it



Image: Rose Theatre Kingston.

During the meeting, I boldly asked the Village People why they won’t leave us alone.

They asked how.

I told them about my friend Bisi, who lost half of her hair while trying to add lye to it in the saloon, now she couldn’t decide if she should cut it off or continue to hide it in her wig.

They asked me why she needed to put chemicals on her hair.

“Her hair is so thick, so thick that most of the teeth of her combs are missing.” I explained.


They sighed, and one of the women told me to tell Bisi to search Google for how to take care of her hair without chemicals.
They said to ask my friend Bisi why she was stalking Maleekberry to the extent that she couldn’t feel the chemicals seeping and burning her scalp. They said it wasn’t their fault just like:
1. Your boyfriend dumping you isn’t their fault. You have to stop thinking that because you are the side chick means he will drop his main chick and vice versa.
2. Failing your exams isn’t also. If you can’t read or copy because you wear Nike sneakers  then you should blame your shoes and not them.

And They Have A Message For YOU!

They told me to tell you to:
1. Hold your Hands.
2. Hold Your Hands.
Stop feeling so entitled. You have pretty hands so every one needs to hold you? You get mad when people ignore the fact that you have so pretty hands? They said ‘People will ignore it unless you hold it first, that’s how they see you have pretty hands. You can’t keep a dress in your closet and expect them to compliment it.
3. Hold your own hands.
You don’t need Chisom to tell you you are pretty before you believe you are.
4. Hold your own hands.
You shouldn’t get upset that your friend has a new friend or your ex girlfriend has a new boyfriend. Life happens.

5. Hold your own hands.

You shouldn’t keep waiting for a miracle from the Sky to grab your hands. No, hold it, grab your hands, raise them to the sky and flaunt the miracle you are capable of.

6. Hold your hands.
You shouldn’t stay home all day instead of visiting nice places because there’s no one to hold your hands while you walk.
7. Hold your own hands.
You don’t need to wait for anyone to hold your hand before you realise you have hands too. Before you realize your hands are as worthy as anyone else’s.
8. Hold your own hands and if you have someone holding your hands, make sure you hold their hands too, make sure that doesn’t make you forget to hold your hands, make sure you remember to tell them you love that they hold your hands.

And lastly they said,

“Hold your hands. Although  sometimes or even every time, you are afraid to hold your hands. You are afraid you are fragile and might fall. You are afraid you need love from outside before you can discover the one that live within you. You are afraid you need validation from outside before you can recognize the power within you.
“You are You, and You are Power. And You need to hold your hands, spend time with your self and use your hands to bring forth that Power. Because I swear, You are power. You just need to find it and you don’t need to wait for someone to tell you it’s there or it’s not there, to tell you, you need to get prettier hands to find your power, to tell you you need their hands to find it.”
The Village people blew my heart, and just when I was about to hug them, they said to also tell you that they are on social media, and they wear pretty clothes, they go to Paris and Dubai and The Caribbean for vacation. They take awesome pictures, they have cars, and they slay anyhow, they slay your self-esteem.
I was furious,  “you people make people depress and make them question the same hands you tell them to hold.”
“Hey Gently Zee. Can we talk about this in the next meeting.” So I saved my hug to myself.
And it was fixed, there’s a next meeting.
And while I was walking away, one of them said, “Zee, tell Bisi we feel her pains and remember that for the next meeting , you don’t need to dress beyond your comfort just to prove that you can be as pretty as us.”

I wonder how they knew I was already thinking of a make up artist and fashion designer to help me slay to the next meeting. But they are Your Village People. They know everything.



By the way, what message do you have for the village people pending the next meeting?

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Azeeza Adeowu

Azeeza Adeowu is the curator of The Zyzah.
She's a Blogger, Storyteller and a Ranter.
If you don't catch her reading, writing, seeing movies or listening to a podcast, you will definitely catch her fangirling or stalking beautiful people on Instagram.

Read about me here:

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